Gaining Perspectives.

 I don’t have that many friends in my life but the ones I do have, I will usually stick to them for years like they are to me. Why? Mostly because they trust me enough to confide in me, as I am to them. I’m gonna straight up brag that I am a good secret keeper, mainly because I now have mum brain syndrome so whatever you told me 5 years ago, I’m pretty sure that secret is long gone from my memory. 🤪🤣

My husband let me have a girls’ outing today with my girlfriend. Out of the blue, she said I look prettier and happier. And honestly I think I do kah kah kah. All credits due to my husband later hahaha. 😉 

Also… I discovered that a friend of a friend to me in college is now a boyfriend to my girlfriend in college. He got divorced, she just broke up with her boyfriend. They got together after almost 10 years of us leaving college.

What a small world, we kept repeating that to ourselves tonight. A very much needed interesting story for me to share with my husband during our pillow talk session.

Case in point, never leave anything on bad terms. You’ll end up regretting it or you’ll be reminded of it for years to come.

Come to think of it - do I have any regrets for any friendship or relationship that I no longer have? Seems like those don’t matter to me anymore. People left me, it used to take a toll on me. But now? I learned that those departures left me with the best things that I could ever ask God for.

For me - when something ends, it ends for good. There’s no need to feel heavy by what happened, rather find what’s the lesson for us to bring forward. I used to be bitter then, but honestly now I couldn’t care less. God have given me so much to appreciate today than whatever I used to have. So why should I be lamenting on my past?

Points to ponder, Nina. 🥸

I Miss You.

Ever since I got married, I let myself go and trust my husband enough to rely on him for love, for guidance and for strength.

Just when I needed him, he’s away for work.

Baru sedar yang aku dah terlalu selesa ada suami nak mintak nasihat untuk semua benda.

I hate feeling inadequate, but in the same time dependency is one of the privileges I should be thankful for when I’m already married.

Haish….

Satu Titik.

 Salah satu perkara yang suami sentiasa ingatkan,

Jaga maruah dan nama baik dia.

Lepas tu dia pergi kentut masa keluar di tempat awam.

Siapa yang tak jaga maruah ni?

I cannot. 😌

Giving My Heart A Break.

 Now I know for sure.

I am not to be trusted with my feelings.

When I love, I love for real.

Although at times, it never seem that way.

Lost in translation.

Titik tertinggi mencintai adalah mengikhlaskannya pergi.

#np Love In The Dark - Adele

White Blood.

Have you ever thought that one day,

You'll walk out of this life unknowingly?

An average life span is 72 years. I'm living almost half of that already.

Semoga kita semua mendapat kesudahan yang baik dan meninggal dalam khusnul khatimah.

Ameen. ❤️

Impossible Heights.

 Last night, I couldn't sleep.

Again.

Like always.

So I crept up my husband's side of the bed and held him tight.

Usually he'd be awake by 5 am, and it was about time he woke up.

He always knew when I just needed a hug, he held me back.

My husband has been helping me out so much emotionally, when I feel stuck with my life. It's weird how I feel so thankful to be living with him, but in the same time I'm struggling in a way that he isn't. 

Aku tak faham otak aku ni, kenapa complicated sangat. Suami cakap hidup ni tak complicated pun. Aku senyum je masa dia cakap macam tu. Kalau hidup ni tak complicated, kenapa aku sendiri tak tau kenapa aku susah sangat nak tidur? It happens always on a random day, yang kadang2 aku penat gila dah. Penat tau tak...

He texted me when he's at work, asking why couldn't I sleep last night. I said I blamed the tea we had when we're out for late dinner. Then he laughed. See? Even he's getting tired of my antics, cos he had that tea more than me and he slept just fine. Haish... 

All these sleepless nights is making me sick, sick in a way I'll be done with life when morning comes, you get what I mean? My husband knows too well he doesn't have to say anything when he wakes up in the morning and seeing me all wide awake, he just offers his arms to me.

In a better world, things should've been better for me, for us.

❤️‍🩹

Rindu.

Never would've thought I'd be celebrating my birthday in confinement this year. Alhamdulillah for all that He granted me in the past year.

Cuma tu lah, terkenang yang dah takde. Mesti dia tersengih je kalau dapat tunjuk cucu baru ni pada dia. Rindu yang tak tertanggung tapi apakan daya, dia bukan di sini dah.

Menitik air mata lagi kalau teringatkan dia. Pelik kenapa aku terlalu emosi bila rindukan dia. Betul la mak cakap, aku ni yang paling iras muka dia, dan ikut perangai dia. Aku tak nampak apa persamaannya, sebenarnya. Tapi tu la, aku cuma rindu dengar nasihat dia.

Bila penat, bila rasa nak putus asa, bila rasa sesak dada ni, mesti terpikir apa dia akan nasihat dalam situasi macam tu. Lepas tu mesti aku tak jadi nak pikir negatif dah. Sebab dia selalu cakap, selagi boleh bertahan, bertahan. Selagi boleh buat, kita buat. Selagi mampu ikhlas, ikhlaskan. Tak senang, tapi kita cuba lah.

Al-Fatihah untuk abah.